I meet a lot of introverts in my practice and I am an introvert myself. One thing I hear from my clients and have experienced myself is a negative bias toward introversion. We are considered the weaker of the human race. We are often considered socially inept, too quiet, shy, insecure, naval gazers, over-analyzers, and loners. These are a few of the negative connotations that I have heard that go with extrovert’s description of introverts.

In my personal growth and processing, of my own issues from childhood, this is an area that I no longer feel any shame or negativity in. I actually feel very blessed to be an introvert. I do not look at one personality trait being better than the other. Any extreme on either end can be a problem with relating to others.

I generally offer the Myers Briggs Personality Profile to determine where a person lies on the scale of introversion/extroversion. This profile also looks at other personality traits that impact how we relate to others. It can be very helpful in looking at your scores and working to balance out the areas in your personality that are out of balance.

I am posting this talk by Susan Cain because I think introverts need all the encouragement they can get in being affirmed in who they are. We live in asociety that caters to an affirms extroversion. For the extroverts reading this I would suggest taking a listen to this as you are probably in relationship with an introvert and Susan can help you understand that personality type better.

Susan Cain on introverts

- Christy Braman

*Have you ever had a throbbing toothache? Did you get to the dentist for help?
*Have you ever broken a bone? Did you ignore it or did you go, as quickly as you could, to have it set?
*Have you ever felt a lump in your breast? Did it concern you and did you get it checked out?
Generally, when we have a physical pain or an abnormality we are alerted and concerned and we get help as quickly as we can. So why is it, then, that when we have pain in our hearts we tend to hide it, ignore it, and/or stuff it? I’m not talking about a physical pain in our hearts…although we DO feel it.
I want to suggest and help you to consider looking at your mental health with the same sense of energy that you address your physical needs.
This does not mean that everybody with a broken heart needs counseling. I’ve seen people connect and share with close friends, and sometimes God, and have seen them recover.
Have you recently gone through a divorce…has your partner been unfaithful….has someone you love, died…have you lost a friendship…have you received a difficult diagnosis…had a miscarriage…or tried over and over to get pregnant with no success?
When we hear these stories, some of them our own, we can feel the pain. And most times we fight back the tears. Please DON”T! Pay attention to the tears…the pain. It can be a signal to you of a wound that needs attention…just like a broken bone or a tooth gone bad. These events I mentioned cause us severe pain but we generally try to ignore it, brush ourselves off and press on.
Research has proven that if we continue to ignore the signals of our heart pain they can eventually become physical pain…stomach problems, ulcers, anxiety , depression, (yes, those last 2 are felt physically) insomnia, strokes, and physical heart problems, All of these can come from repressed, unresolved pain.
So, how do we begin to address these heart issues? It starts with being vulnerable and confessing our pain. Sometimes we feel that our pain is “too much” to put on people. And some times it “is” if there is only one person you are going to and confiding in. It can become a heavy weight on that friend or spouse. This is where a counselor can be very helpful to you. A counselor is someone who is trained to know how to get to the heart issues and help your heart heal. A counselor is, by law, restricted to confidentiality, and will not repeat anything you tell him/her. A counselor will never feel you are too much or your pain is too heavy for him/her to help you bear. Sometimes when you finally decide to seek out counseling for you heart pains you also experience significant positive change in your physical being as they are all connected. Please consider getting the mental heath you need. It not only helps you but helps the ones who do life alongside you.

– Christy Braman, LMHC

The process of grieving is often misunderstood in our culture. I believe this is partly due to the “instant” processes we have created and now expect in our living. We promote fast answers, easy solutions, quick fixes for problems and pain.

I understand the benefits that can come from certain functions being swift; however, there are areas in life that need to be engaged deliberately and purposefully, grieving is in that category.

Here are a few thoughts that I share with my clients who are experiencing grief. The italicized quotes are from Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s book, On Grief and Grieving:

1. There is not one correct way to experience grief. Each person processes grief differently. Do not be driven by society’s expectations regarding what emotions a person should have, or how that emotion is expressed.
“Your loss is deep and deserves your personal attention without comparison. You are the only who can survey the magnitude of your loss.”

2. It is ok to laugh. Laughing does not dishonor your loved one; it is an additional way to honor them. It is so important to have the freedom to laugh when you feel joy and cry when you feel sadness. Memories will bring both; neither should bring guilt.
“Whenever we ask people to be different than they are or to feel different than they do, we are not accepting them as they are and where they are”.

3. Healing from grief is gradual; it is a process not an event. It is not unusual to feel as though you are finished grieving and then experience an unexpected wave of grief again. It does not mean you are weak, or have failed, it is normal. What I have observed and personally experienced is that the waves come less frequently and with less power as time passes.
“Your task in mourning is to pay the respect and time it deserves; this brings integrity to the deep loss that is yours.”

I say these things with the caveat that if your grief experience is debilitating your life by causing depression, anxiety, or delusions, please seek help. Professional counselors, pastors or your medical doctor can help guide you through the treatment choices available.

At Gilstrap & Associates, we have counselors who have experience in grief counseling. We would consider it a privilege to walk along side you (or someone you love) on the path of grieving.

Brenda Stutler
Registered Mental Health Counselor Intern

Most everyone realizes the important role of good communication in a relationship.  We probably could swap stories all day about funny miscommunications that leave us with our heads tilted and thinking, “really?”  Often these misinterpretations could have easily been avoided with proper communication tools in place.  For instance, did you realize that between 60-80% of communication is non-verbal (variance due to different cultures).   It is the body language, facial expression, amount of eye contact, tone of voice that often communicates the true message in our words.  The irony is that our culture seems to be moving away from face to face communication and more toward the written word, or more accurately, the written abbreviation!  This makes good communication skills even more important because the written word lacks the nonverbal pieces mentioned above giving way to the greater possibility for miscommunication.

Styles of communication can vary greatly depending on our culture, temperament, education, age, gender, and even certainly our personality.  Some may describe themselves as “detail” communicators, while others are more “abstract”.  For example, we have all heard stories of how different types of people, give different travel directions. “Stay on the same road until you pass the big oak tree on the left, keeping going until you see the hardware store, then turn left;  and if you see the fire station, you’ve gone too far” as opposed to, “Stay on Main street for 3 blocks then turn left onto Maple Drive”.  Neither is correct or incorrect, just different.

There is a story in my family, passed around for many years, that is a very good example of different communication styles   It was time for our twelve year old son to learn how to do laundry.  The day of instruction I was at my office and he was at home on summer break from school.  He called me shortly after waking with a sleepy voice but willing spirit.

My biggest concern was that the right clothes were washed together and that he used the proper temperature of water.  I began this monologue of teaching about the importance of each.  I went into great detail about how to sort the different clothes types, the amount of detergent, how to use bleach, the different drying cycles, which clothes to hang up instead of using the dryer, where to find the supplies; I mean, I had a rhetoric that could have been used in the instruction manual from the manufacturer.  My studious son was taking it all in, I could tell because he was throwing in an occasional “uh-huh”.  I felt good about the communication process.

As I ended my directive speech, I asked him if he had any questions (feeling confident that I had covered everything so thoroughly I couldn’t imagine that he did, but it felt like a “connecting” kind of question to put out there).  As he walked through the house carrying the phone I could hear him opening the door to the laundry room, pondering all that was in front of him.  He was quiet while he was lining up the instructions with all that surrounded him.  And then he said the words I will never forget, “I just have one question, which one is the washer and which one is the dryer?”

What….just…happened…here?

We have laughed about this incident for years!  But there are actually some valuable pieces of information to take away from this encounter regarding communication styles.  If we are aware that there are different styles of communicating, we will become less frustrated when our message is not received.

The way in which we choose to speak is only half of the process.  It is a common mistake to forget that communicating includes listening as well as speaking.  Are we really listening to the message, taking in all of the words, inflections and non-verbals?  Or, are we nodding our heads and secretly preparing what we are going say next?  If tested, could we correctly and precisely reflect what the person just said to us?   This is a skill that is extremely important in our intimate relationships, but also can be vital in a business transaction or even a parent/teacher interaction.  Not only will reflective listening show respect to the other person, but it will also provide space for clarification.  This is just one example of an important communication tool.  There are many others that can be learned, practiced and implemented into our lives during session with any of the counselors at Gilstrap & Associates.

At Gilstrap & Associates, we have worked with many combinations of people trying to communicate; spouses, parents, teenagers, young children, grandparents, teachers, employers, business associates, co-workers and different blendings of these individuals.  Please call our Orlando office if you would like more information on how individual counseling, marriage counseling or group counseling, or even a workplace seminar could help improve communication in your world.  Do not be left wondering if your message was received as you intended it.

Brenda Stutler, M.A.

Jessica Gilstrap was the local mental health expert Orlando’s Channel 9 interviewed regarding the nationally publicized local trial of Casey Anthony. Follow this link to read the interview and watch the news video.

Mental Health Expert Analyzes Casey’s Behavior 

This entry was submitted by CB on May 12, 2011

Relational connection gives purpose and meaning to our lives. On this YouTube video Dr. Brown talks about her personal discovery and life-changing experience that occurred while researching relational connections and the people involved. She discusses the difference between those who are connected and those who are not. Her discoveries are quite profound and I believe are helpful for each of us to grasp as we consider how to connect more deeply with one another. She addresses the subject of shame and fear and how they block us from connecting. She discusses our sense of worthiness as to whether we “feel worthy to be loved.”

Listening to Dr. Brown encouraged me to be aware of what keeps me from connecting more deeply with someone. Is it fear? Is it a sense of shame? These are good questions to ask as we strive to be more connected in our close relationships. I encourage you to take a few moments to listen and consider what Dr. Brown has to say about vulnerability.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o

Christy Braman, LMHC

True Story…I went to the pantry to take out a box of cereal for breakfast and there was my new half-gallon container of ice cream sitting on the shelf next to the cereal. Technically, it was just the container sitting on the shelf; the ice cream (I use the word “ice” loosely) was dripping onto each shelf below forming a cascade of sticky gooey liquid all the way down to my floor! Really? While I was cleaning the mess, I realized what had happened was while putting away the groceries the evening before, I was so preoccupied with a financial matter that my body was performing one task and my mind was on a totally different wavelength. Result? No ice cream and no solution to the financial issue. Does that happen to you?

Or maybe you can relate to this story. This past week I have been so busy with major home repairs, graduate school, and internship that one day I woke to the realization that I didn’t have any clean towels or clean forks. How does this happen? I cannot change anything in my schedule right now…so how do I manage all that is required of me? I felt as though I was failing in so many areas and that I had too much responsibility for one person to manage. There are seasons in our lives that contain an inordinate amount of activity or problems which deplete us of strength, physical and emotional. These are the times we say to our friends, “I HAVE SO MUCH STRESS!”

The three leading sources of stress for Americans right now is Money, Work and the Economy; this according to a recently published study on the effects of stress on Americans, published by the American Psychological Association (Stress in America Findings. November, 2010. www.stressinamerica.org). Great, I have little control over the national economy or the decisions being made on my behalf, but they are causing me great stress….what can I do? So what about stress that is out of our control?

There is no stress in your life that is out of your control. Stress is an internal (INTERNAL: of yourself) response to an external factor. It is not the lack of money, lack of time, loss of job, fear of flying, information overload, working three jobs to make ends meet, teenager on drugs, etc. that gives us stress; stress is our reaction. Each concern on this list is legitimate for attention. But it is important to realize that in many cases we are choosing our response to that concern (albeit subconsciously most of the time). If we begin to understand and believe this, then we are empowered to change it. Here are some additional thoughts to consider about changing the stress response.

Determine the triggers

Take time to name the items, events, people, or thoughts that are causing your stress response. Note any specific relationship to time that might be present. This is the first step in determining how to respond differently.

Determine what is needed to change

Once you have filtered through the causes of your stress response, begin to imagine what life would be like without feeling stressed in each area you have noted. What would be necessary to make a change? How do you get to where you want to be? This may require a long hard look at your life, your priorities, your values and your self-worth (don’t rush over that word: self-worth, what is your worth to yourself?). Recognizing what is keeping you from fulfilling your goal is a big step to achieving it.

Do you practice Self Care?

Women are especially bad about giving time to themselves. We take care of others, but often put ourselves last in line for privileges and downtime. If you are a planner, perhaps you can schedule time on your calendar for yourself. If you are more of a winger, than take advantage of opportunities that come across your path without feeling guilty.

There are options to controlling the stress response factor in life. If you find you need help in this process please call our office. We can help you in any of these stages of change. We can offer interventions such as relaxation techniques, talk therapy or behavior modification for you to use as tools in managing your stress response. Invest in yourself so that you can be happy and healthy in your service to others.

Once I began considering stress relief as a responsibility to myself and my family I was able to work toward a solution without guilt. Whatever that looks like for you, I hope that you come to a place where managing your stress response is a deliberate effort. Don’t wait until the stress inside of you pours out (ice cream in the pantry and no clean forks). Determine that you are going to manage it instead of it managing you!

Brenda Stutler, BA, Student Intern

Submitted by hnapolitano on Sun, 04/26/2009 – 19:00

Many of my patients ask me this question. Most doctors will tell you “no”. There are 2 main reasons for this. First, very little about natural supplementation is taught in medical school. The second reason is because there are no “FDA” indications for the use of supplements in mental health. However, because so many patients have interest in this, I would like to share with you what I have seen be beneficial to some patients in my practice. Please keep in mind that this is only MY OPINION, based on MY EXPERIENCE. Most of the products mentioned below have some limited evidence of usefulness, but my suggestions are mostly based on what I have observed from my patients.

For Depression:  Having said the above, there actually is good evidence that 5-HTP (5-hydroxytryptohan, which is basically Serotonin) can improve the sypmtoms of MILD Depression.  I have seen this work in a number of patients, but again, only if that patient has presented with MILD Depressive symptoms.  More often, I have seen it be beneficial by adding a small dose to an antidepressant.  You see, antidepressants don’t actually increase the amount of serotonin in your brain.  They only make your nerve cells use it better.  So sometimes, if you’ve been on an antidepressant for a while and it stops working, it may be because your nerve cells are working so well they’ve used up all the serotinin and need more.  I have also used 5-HTP to help in cases where a higher dose of an antidepressant has not been tolerated (because of side effects), to augment the effects of the antidepressant.  Other benefits of 5-HTP:  decreasing carbohydrate cravings, helping with mild anxiety and helping you sleep better.

*PLEASE DO NOT MIX ANTIDEPRESSANTS AND 5-HTP WITHOUT A DOCTOR’S ADVICE.  This is because your body CAN get too much serotonin, resulting in something called serotonin syndrome, which can make you very sick!

My next recommendation for depression is not actually a supplement, but is something that is considered a “medical food” (that means you still have to have a prescription for it).  The product is called Deplin.  It is a methylated folate (folate is one of the B vitamins) tablet.  It actually also has lots of evidence that indicate it helps depression get better faster and more completely, when added to an antidepressant.  The fact that it is “methylated” means that it’s basically already in it’s usable form.  It should be absorbed more easily and used more reeadily by your body than a regular folate tablet that you can buy over the counter.  There are certain conditions where you would want to avoid extra folate, so you must speak to your doctor about this as well.

For Anxiety:  The calming neurotransmitter, GABA, or Gamma-AminoButyric Acid, is a tyupical target of supplements that treat anxiety.  In fact, the ones I have seen be beneficial are Theanine, an amino acid precursor to GABA, and simply taking GABA itself.  Medications usch as Xanax, Valium, and Klonopin help anxiety by working on the GABA receptors.  Sometimes adding GABA can help people reduce their need for one of the above medications, and sometimes helps with sleep as well.  Please talk with your doctor before using this, because there are adverse effects from too much GABA!

Theanine (found in green tea) has many uses, and actually can increase levels of serotonin and dopamine, in addition to GABA.  Ihave seen it be beneficial for mild anxiety by itsefl, or to help limit the dosage needed of an antianxiety medication.  As a bonus, there is some evidence it enhances your body’s immune response to infection, and when added to caffeine, may increase cognition and mood (caffeine, however, is not recommended for anxiety and should be reduced in anxiety disorders).  It is also usually an ingredient in over the counter “natural” sleep aids.  While it is hard to get too much theanine, I would still only advise using it after consulting with a physician knowledgeable in the use of supplements.

Another product I have found useful in treating anxiety is Kavinace.  This product is made by a company called Neuroscience.  It contains 3 ingredients that all work to increase GABA production and activity.  The first ingredient is phenibut, which is a derivative of GABA that actually gets into the nerve cells more easily than GABA.  The second ingredient is Taurine, which is an amino acid that promotes the production of GABA and prevents the breakdown of GABA, therefore, making more available to your nerve cells.  The final ingredient is B6, a vitamin which is needed in order for your body to make GABA.  This product is useful on an “as needed” basis for anxiety, similar to the way one would use xanax, or also when taken regularly, usually 2 or 3 times a day, to help reduce overall tension, stress, or agitation, and sometimes hyperactivity.  This product is only available through the Neuroscience company (an excellent company, in my opinion!), but many websites and physicians have collaborated with this company to make their products available.

AGAIN, FOR ALL SUPPLEMENTS, PLEASE ONLY USE AFTER TALKING WITH A PHYSICIAN KNOWLEDGEABLE IN THE USE OF SUPPLEMENTS; and be sure to disclose all your current medications and medical conditions, so the physician can make the most appropriate recommendations for you.

My only recommendations on brands of supplements are to try to find “pharmaceutical grade” products.  I do have some of these things that I recommend available at our offices, and I am working to make more readily available at minimal costs.

Heidi Napolitano, M.D.

Psychiatrist

Submitted by jgilstrap on Tue, 04/21/2009 – 19:36

The challenges of our fractured economy are evident in all of our lives.  We see job loss, business failures, and families in turmoil.   Our national financial structures are being savaged by greed and dishonesty and those failures have cascaded down upon us and our families.  This malaise has touched each and every one of us.  However………………….

This is not new to our economy; it is consistent with the cyclical nature of how our capitalist system works.  It has happened before, and it will happen again, but in the meantime how do we cope with the loss of our jobs, businesses, and our life savings.

First things first, we must keep the faith.  Know that God is in control, and that all things in heaven and earth are under His authority.  He gives us practical principles for us to follow when times like this arise.

Make sure that you are secure in your faith. If not, spend some time with your pastor, priest, rabbi, counselor or your spiritual leader.

Second, if you have suffered a loss, either job, business or life savings consider the following.  Prepare two budgets; one for your finances and one for  how you spend your time.   Your financial health for your family is critical.  Take the same steps with your family budget as our state is doing with its budget.  What excesses can you remove that will not deter your basic needs; food, clothing, and shelter.  Take a look at your current assets and your long term assets.  If you have toys like boats, cars, four wheelers, etc, consider taking a loss and turn them into cash.  If you are depressed because you have lost your life savings, know that you are not alone.  Also know that this too will pass.  Long term financial success comes to those who spend less than they earn, become lenders not borrowers, and become debt free.  While this may not be where you are now, our present day economy gives us a great reason to begin to put these principles in practice now.  Take time to sit your children down and explain to them what has happened to your family finances.  This can be tricky because we do not in any way want your children to take on more than is appropriate, but we do want to encourage you as families to all learn money principles.  Include them in as much detail as you are comfortable sharing.  Let them become part of the process.  Try to have a family time to pray and to discuss where and what you are doing to manage your financial budget.  This exercise may help with the “I want, and can I have’s”.

Thirdly, budget your time.  If you have lost your job, or know that a layoff is imminent begin to take steps now to manage your time.  Take the three step process.  Make sure that you are spending Time with God; either by a quiet time, or with other believers of your faith.  Exercise daily and rigorously.  Make sure you sweat every day.  This will keep you mentally sharp and help you fight depression.  Network with everyone.  Men tend to have a difficult time networking.  However necessity causes all of us to do things that are somewhat uncomfortable.  The best place to start networking is with those that are in your same faith, whether at church, synagogue, or temple.  Start with those that you know and those that know you best.  Do not be intimidated to ask anyone for a job or a reference.  Make lists of previous employers, job mates, and Sunday school friends.  Call them personally, ask for a job or a reference that might lead to a job.  Finally, take what you can get for a start.  It is easier to get a better position when you are working than when you are not working.  Do not send out resumes and expect something to happen.  You have to manage this personally with a phone call or a visit.

Finally, if you are completely overwhelmed, we can help.  We have capable counselors and Psychiatrists within our staff that are trained to help you overcome your challenges.  If you are at the point where you no longer can find answers, call us, we can help.

Submitted by jgilstrap on Mon, 04/27/2009 – 13:24

As per the request from our speaking engagement at the “Your Not Alone – Campus Crusade”, this past weekend, we wanted to provide further information about the rEEG testing that we have found to be extremely beneficial within our practice.  We have had several clients that have taken this route in their journey toward healing and have been extremely pleased with the outcome.  We hope this information is helpful to you as well.

Thank you so much for coming to our seminar!

Jessica Gilstrap, LMHC and Curtis McGown, LMHC

What is rEEG®?

Referenced-EEG (rEEG®) is the first objective, physiology-based system consistently shown to guide psychiatrists to appropriate treatment in the most challenging patients. It is the culmination of a 20-year effort combining Quantitative Medicine, Psychiatry and Pathology that allows a physician for the first time to objectively determine which CNS (central nervous system) medications will be effective for a particular patient.

Why is rEEG® Not Diagnostic? Psychiatrists and addictionologists are now using this system to guide treatment of patients previously defined as treatment-resistant. Approximately 75% of these patients have, in fact, been successfully treated with currently available medications when rEEG® was utilized to guide treatment.

The problem we solve“There are over 100 medications available for treatment of behavioral disorders. The core problem is not that we need three more. The problem is we need to know how to use the 100 that we have.”- Stephen Suffin, M.D., Co-founder Medical treatment of mental disorders differs fundamentally from the treatment of all other health disturbances in one important way – psychiatrists or addiction specialists have no objective physiologic measurements to guide treatment of mental or addictive illness. Twentieth Century technical advances provided x-rays to the orthopedist, EKGs to the cardiologist and CT scans to the neurologist, but did not lead to any analogous technology for psychiatrists. There is no physiologic brain measurement system available to assist the physician/psychiatrist. Treatment choice primarily has relied on a diagnostic system that considers behavioral observations by the physician/psychiatrist and descriptions of emotion and behavior by patient or family members as the basis for prescribing medications.

Without the benefit of any physiology-based measurement tools, physicians/psychiatrists simply are making an educated guess at what effective therapy might be. Clinical treatment is neither efficient nor completely effective in most cases. Approximately 70% of patients have either no, or an incomplete, response to medications.

Referenced-EEG® (rEEG®) is a patented (issued 2003 and 2007) proprietary technology of CNS that utilizes commonly used digital electroencephalography (EEG) in conjunction with a normative database and a proprietary clinical (symptomatic) database to identify abnormal patient physiology. Appropriate medications are then statistically selected specifically to normalize discovered abnormalities. This process has been correlated to treatment outcome in a database of over 1,600 patients and 13,000 medication trials. The results of the analysis for each patient are produced in a two-page report provided to the physician from the CNS reference laboratory. Treatment directed by rEEG® has led to positive outcomes in over 75% of the 3000+ patients who have previously failed to respond to traditional treatment efforts as indicated in retrospective and prospective trials as well as in pilot clinical programs.ApplicationCNS Response technologies are also being applied in drug research and development, a field that has been plagued by the same lack of physiologic markers as has clinical psychiatric care. rEEG® can be used to improve the success of FDA clinical trials, to provide insight on effective therapeutic dosing of investigational drugs, to identify additional indications for psychiatric medications, to provide insight into effective drug combinations, and to identify psychiatric indications for non-psychiatric medications, to manage adverse neuropsychiatric effects of other medications and for other benefits.

Additional Links

• Why is rEEG® Not Diagnostic?
• Medication Half Life Detox Table
• Physicians Introductory rEEG® Guide
• EEG Techs rEEG® Introductory Guide
• rEEG® Requistion Form
• Sample rEEG® Report